9 Things You Can Do Now That You Live in New York City

dwight.gif

1. Complain about the MTA

Ugh! You’re not really familiar with the whole infrastructure, and the 7-train is more of a myth to you than an actual subway line, but 6 minutes for the next 1 train? That is TOO LONG! You’re feeling the rage, so why not take to social media and show your friends how NYC you really are and tweet at the MTA? "Do better MTA!!!" you scream. “I totally have opinions about mass transit!!!!” you insist. Boom. You’re a New Yorker now.

 

 

 

2. Get your brunch on!

There’s really only one way to have time for what’s important as a New Yorker and it’s by merging your meals. You’ve seen it on TV, you can’t walk 3 feet in the West Village without seeing eggs benny in your peripheral, and now you want in. Take advantage of bottomless mimosas and splurge on that side of avocado. You earned it!

brunch.gif
hashtag.gif

3. Use the hashtag #NYC

You set the Facebook status, you’ve used the geotag and the Snapchat filter, but there’s still a very small chance that people don’t know you live in the greatest city in the world now!! Even if the location on your Instagram is “Manhattan, New York” it’s important it reflects in the caption too. Dive right into that hashtag pool and don’t come up for air until you’ve hit “share.” Maybe even throw in some fun ones like #transplant or #cityliving

 

walk.gif

 

 

 

4. Walk aggressively

Saunter across the middle of 8th Avenue like you own the place. The blinking “Don’t Walk” sign is way more of a suggestion than a hard fast rule anyway. Crossing in the middle of the block isn’t just convenient, it’s necessary. Bump elbows with tourists and give them dirty looks-- sure, you don’t know which way the High Line is either, but you’re not gonna stand around on the corner while you Google it! You looked it up before you left the apartment and you’ll be damned if you’re gonna consult the directions in public.

 

 

 

 

5. Make fun of New Jersey

They deserve it.

NJ.gif
chinese.gif

6. Order Chinese food at 2 AM

It’s the first thing every New Yorker complains about when they visit other places: why does everything close so early? You know that once you’re back in Indiana, you won’t be able to satisfy those cravings for late night Chinese food that totally plagued you before you moved here, so seize the moment now! Make sure to put something hilarious in the special instructions on Seamless like “extra fortune cookies please!! :)”

 

 

 

7. Embrace apathy

What is it about New Yorkers that lets them shut off completely when a subway performer is dancing their heart out on the express train? A good ole dose of black coffee and apathy. You don’t need to say goodbye to your skinny vanilla lattes, but you do have to say goodbye to your empathy center: it’s the only way to fit in. Soon, just like all real New Yorkers, you will be immune to your surroundings and emotions. All you need to do is ignore them!!

apathy.gif
cool.gif

8. Be cool around celebrities

That’s right. You 100% rode the subway with Neil Patrick Harris the other day and only texted 3 people! You still have that selfie with him from when you saw him in Hedwig, so it totally didn’t feel necessary to get one this time. You’re so used to it at this point, you barely even noticed. Celebrities are just part of your everyday life now that you live here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

9. Get uppity about real estate

Start saying things like “pre-war” and count how many blocks peoples apartment are from the train. Travis is paying HOW much to live in that shoebox? Well he’s a darn fool. You would know, you’ve been here for 6 whole weeks. Asking someone how much they pay for rent is the new “what do you do for a living”, so get nosy! Besides, if you’re paying under $2K for an apartment that includes everything, you can grill your coworker for not having a dishwasher.

uppity.gif